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loviely

“He sticks my hands down his pants and tells me he can make me feel good; like nothing I’ve ever felt before. But I’ve felt it all. I know how to slice open my arm after stealing a razor from a shaver. And I’ve seen meals turn into blood and stomach bile in the bathroom with the shower running while coughing on every Instagram photo I’ve ever seen. And he thinks he can make me feel something I’ve never felt? Not after the night I drank two hard seltzers then ended up in the hospital because two guys thought they could make me feel something too. And I’ve grown from every pile of dirt every lover has ever left me behind in, I grew from break ups, and times where I was kissed one last time without even knowing it, and I learned how to stop calling someone while I was drunk and crying because that’s not an excuse for them to answer the fucking phone. And he thinks after I’ve had my hands shoved down too many pants he’ll be different. ‘Baby’ I moan. Give it all you got.”

— I’m always trying to be a different person, August 2020

Aug 14 2020 • 359 notes